When a friend is dealing with a chronic illness, navigating the relationship can be tricky. You want to be supportive and empathetic, but it’s crucial to recognize that certain well-intentioned actions might actually be unhelpful or even harmful. Understanding what not to do can significantly impact how you support your friend during this challenging time.
Avoid Making Assumptions About Their Experience
It’s important not to make assumptions about what your friend is feeling or experiencing. Each person’s journey with chronic illness is unique, and assuming you know what they need can lead to feelings of misunderstanding or isolation. Instead, ask open-ended questions and listen actively to understand their specific challenges and needs.
Don’t Minimize Their Feelings
When conversing with someone who has a chronic illness, avoid phrases like “at least it’s not worse” or “you’ll get over it.” These can seem dismissive and belittle the person’s experience. Acknowledge their pain without comparison or minimization, showing that you see and respect their struggle.
Resist the Urge to Offer Unsolicited Advice
While it might be tempting to suggest new diets, treatments, or doctors, offering unsolicited advice can often feel overwhelming or frustrating for your friend. Unless they specifically ask for your input, it’s better to keep the focus on emotional support rather than medical guidance.
Do Not Treat Them Differently
A common mistake is drastically changing how you treat your friend after learning about their illness. While some adjustments might be necessary, try to maintain the normalcy of your relationship as much as possible. They still value the same humor, activities, and interactions that defined your relationship before their diagnosis.
Avoid Being Overly Protective
Being protective is natural, but being overly protective can make your friend feel incapable or infantilized. It’s crucial to strike a balance where you are supportive but not constrictive. Allow them the space to share their limits and help them maintain their independence.
Don’t Forget About Yourself
Supporting someone with a chronic illness can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you are also taking care of your own mental health and seeking support if needed. This will not only help you be a better supporter but also maintain a healthy dynamic in the relationship.
Remember, the best way to find out how to help is by asking and listening. Every individual’s needs are different, and being there for them often means adapting and respecting their wishes.
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